By P.T. Bopanna
After I shared a chapter in the run-up to my next book ‘Kodava Religion At Crossroads’, there has been a wide-spread discussion in the Kodava community hailing from Kodagu (Coorg) district in Karnataka.
In the chapter penned by Puliyanda Anu Chengappa, advocate, for my book, she has sought to capture the essence of the status of the Kodavathi (Kodava woman) in Kodava society with specific focus on the matrimonial, maintenance, succession and property rights as per Kodava custom.
After I posted parts of Anu’s chapter on Facebook, there have been a debate on the points featured in the chapter.
Beena Ramesh, my Facebook friend (in picture), commented: “One thing I want to know apart from our culture and traditions, what is the right of women at our thamane (paternal home), and gender privilege.”
Anu Chengappa, advocate notes in her article: “A Kodava wedding (mangala) is considered to have concluded with the ‘sambanda kodpo’ or ‘sambanda kooto’ ritual. Sambanda kodpo literally means “giving a relationship” and sambanda kooto literally means “forging a relationship” both these terms refer to a ritual that takes place immediately after the dampathi murtha wherein the agreement that was made at the time of the lagna patti is converted into a contract.
“The aruvas of the bride and the groom stand facing each other on either side of the married couple along with the family members of the bride and the groom. The bride’s aruva orally lists out all the rights that are expected to be given to the bride in her matrimonial home. This is a very exhaustive list ranging from her right to use salt and sugar in the kitchen to the water in the well and in the properties of her matrimonial home. This is to ensure not just her rights’ but also to ensure that she lives in her matrimonial home with a sense of ownership and dignity without having to seek permission from anyone.
“In short, a Kodava bride becomes a part and parcel of her matrimonial home with rights equal to those exercised by every other member in her matrimonial family. After listing out these rights, the bride’s aruva asks the groom’s aruva “thandira” or “kodthira” meaning ‘have you given’ to which the groom’s aruva answers in the affirmative uttering “thandat” or “kodthat” (given). The groom’s aruva further takes on the responsibility of ensuring the well-being of the bride in her matrimonial home. Similarly, the groom’s aruva lists out the duties and responsibilities of the bride in her matrimonial home and asks who will be responsible to bring back the bride if she returns to her paternal home with complaints or for any other reason and the bride’s aruva accepts this responsibility.
“This consensual acceptance of rights and duties is sealed with the aruvas exchanging ‘sakshi pana’ which literally means “witness money” to seal the affirmation. Thus in legal terms, there is a listing of terms and conditions of the contract of marriage and the sakshi pana is the ‘consideration’ that binds the contacting parties and the people present are witnesses to this oral contract. This sambanda kodpo practice is an example of how amazingly logical and evolved the ancient Kodava customs are, to stand the test of even the present day law of contract.
“Another interesting and unique feature of the Kodava marriage is the concept of ‘pannerand acchira ponn.’ The underlying principle of this concept is that the value of a person is worth twelve blocks of gold which literally translates as pannerand acchira ponn in Kodava thakk (language). During the sambanda kodpo ritual, the bride’s aruva hands over eleven pebbles symbolic of acchi (gold block) and retains the twelfth acchi stating that the bride’s family is retaining this twelfth acchi as a symbol of her rights continuing in her thamane (paternal family) even after marriage and also as a symbol of her parents having obligations towards her even after marriage.
“The Kodava bride is sent by her thamane to her baamane or baakemane (matrimonial family) as a ‘gesture of goodwill’ to enhance the fertility and prosperity of her matrimonial home. The concept of the bride severing ties with her paternal family after marriage is alien to Kodava custom. The concept of the daughter becoming ‘paraya dhan’ (someone else’s property) or the concept of “Kotta hennue kullakke horage” (a girl given away in marriage is alien to her parental home) followed in mainstream Hinduism are nonexistent in Kodavame. The concept of “once a daughter, always a daughter” that is now constantly quoted by the Indian courts of law to declare and uphold rights of daughters under Hindu law was conceptualized and is being practiced by the Kodavas since ancient times.
“Another interesting custom of the Kodava wedding is the ‘batte thadpo’ (meaning blocking the way) ritual where the eligible bachelors in the bride’s family who could have sought her hand in marriage block her way while proceeding to the groom’s home telling the groom that they will not allow her to go to him as they still aspire to be her spouse. Though this ritual is marked by revelry and light hearted banter, the underlying message is that the bride is not marrying the groom because she had no suitors but rather she is rejecting eligible suitors to marry the groom which casts a huge responsibility on the groom to take care of her and protect and provide for her. It is symbolic of how the groom is not doing a favour to the bride by marrying her and of how he will be held accountable for any mistreatment of the bride. The eligible suitor/suitors allow the bride to go to the groom’s home only after the groom pacifies and assures him/them that he will take good care of the bride and gives money or gold coin to pacify these suitors. This money or gold coin is tied to the tip of the bride’s saree as symbol of goodwill and protection from the said suitor/suitors.
“The ‘neer chaana’ (neer– water, chaana– cow dung) ritual is symbolic of the bride assuming her responsibilities and exercising her rights in her matrimonial home. Kodava society originally being an agrarian one, the bride after reaching the groom’s house, carries a basket of cow dung and proceeds to the paddy field of her baakemane and empties the dung into the field, washes her hands with water and then proceeds to the well of her matrimonial home to do the ‘ganga pooje’ also referred to as the ’neer edpo’ ritual in continuance of her exercising her rights in her baakemane.
“In this ritual the bride pays her obeisance to the water source of the matrimonial home and uses the ‘peeche katti‘ (traditional dagger of the Kodavas) of the groom to break the coconut offered to the water source, to symbolise her using all that belongs to her husband, as her own. In that sense, the Kodavas were more evolved than the stipulations of even the present day Hindu law where the bride was given not just the user but joint ownership of her husband’s assets and belongings. After the pooje the bride would proceed to the main door walking gracefully with mangalath mott (literally meaning ‘auspicious steps’ i.e., tiny graceful steps taken by the bride as the epitome of prosperity as she walks towards the entrance of her matrimonial home)with the near and dear ones in her baakemane escorting her joyously to the beats of the vaalaga (traditional Kodava wedding music). Thus, every ritual of the Kodava mangala cements a strong foundation for the Kodavati to lead a life of dignity and honour in her matrimonial home.
Dowry
“Dowry is unheard of in Kodava society. The Kodavati goes to her matrimonial home not because she is a burden to her parental home or because she has no source of food, shelter or protection and so the husband is not doing her family a favour by marrying her. It is quite the opposite wherein it is the bride’s family doing a favour to the groom’s family by sending her as a gesture of good will and blessing to bring good luck and prosperity to the groom’s family. If the bride’s paternal family gets even a whiff of the son-in-law expecting or demanding anything, they have a right to take back their daughter from the matrimonial home as it only means that her baakemane has failed or is incapable of performing their part of the contract as was agreed upon in the sambanda kodpo ceremony.
“Even accepting gifts from the wife’s family is considered shameful for the groom and his family members. Even a suggestion of monetary help from the wife’s family to the son-in-law is considered an insult to the latter. Whatever the parents of the Kodavati give, is only for their daughter and no one else and even the wedding expenses are equally borne by the families of the bride and the groom as both sides are equally conscious of their sense of self respect and dignity.
Property rights
“The joint family system of the Kodavas in the form of okkas was closely bound to common tenancy of all the members of the okka to the jamma land belonging to the okka. There was no ownership right and so there was no scope for division or alienation of the okka property. What is loosely called partition in the context of jamma lands is a de facto arrangement within the okka of dividing the management of the common property into divisions to be managed by various branches of the family. Survey numbers would be distributed to various kulas or branches of the family and those properties will continue to pass on from generation to generation within that particular branch of the okka. However, all such properties still belong to the entire okka. Unity and indivisibility of the okka being the predominant concern, an unmarried daughter had an equal right in her thamane property. Upon marriage of a daughter, her property rights would open up in her baakemane okka as listed out during the sambanda kodpo ritual. If the daughter returned to her thamane as a widow or as a divorcee after severing ties with her baakemane through the sambanda adko ritual, her rights in her thamane property would be resurrected and there are instances of a portion of her paternal property being earmarked exclusively for her as a source of her livelihood and maintenance.
“As for the rights of a Kodavati in her baakemane, she becomes a co sharer with equal right in her matrimonial property as every other member of her baakemane okka. Her name is added to the kula or more colloquially referred to as the 6th, 9th or 11th column of the revenue records. Since emphasis is on non severability of the Kodava joint family property, if any final settlement of maintenance or alimony had to be made at the time of sambanda adko ceremony, it is in the form of the monetary value of her share in the baakemane property and money is given in lieu of her share in the property. “It is notable to mention here that till date as per the current codified Hindu law, a wife does not get rights in the joint family property of the husband per se. Her rights open up only on the death of her husband and that too only to his share in the joint family property which she has to equally divide with her children if she has any. Per contra, a Kodava bride customarily has an equal right in the joint family property of the husband from the date of marriage. With the Kodavas now being governed by the codified Hindu law, the Kodavati is deprived of these superior rights she enjoyed as per Kodava customary practices.
